Thailand

When I first started traveling, some people from back home kept asking why I wasn’t going to Thailand. Like, what the fuck else could be in ghetto ass Southeast Asia besides lush beautiful Thailand right?

No helmets, sex, or durians in the taxi please. Oh ok, good to know.

Every Asian country I go to, they absolutely insist I'm from there. Asian people cannot accept the fact that there are in fact other Asians living in America. The only place where this didn't happen was Japan, which was really the only place I wanted to be mistaken for...fml.

Thailand is one of the world’s biggest backpacking destinations and by far the most touristy and overrated place in SE Asia. I was fosho sippin on the haterade when I landed in Bangkok, prepared to hate on the Thai food and beaches and nightlife that everyone craves so much.

Thai women are so beautiful, but beware, they're probably all born men too!

Real Thai tea is divine

It's true, Thai food is very flavorful and spicy, but I still think Viet food is the best!

Cute girl playing music right beside us at the restaurant

Lost in the shuffle at the night market

Thailand is the gayest country on earth. Where else would you have pink taxis.

Tuk tuk drivers can be sketchy but fun!

Took a river cruise to sightsee like all the other tourists

Asia is obsessed with gigantic gold Buddhas

After the 3rd temple I was like, ok, I've seen enough.

Thankfully, I walked away from Thailand with an EXTREMELY interesting experience that I will never forget. Even when I try to, it haunts me in my dreams. All the stereotypes about Bangkok/Thailand with all its lady boys, tricks, hoes, skip-skops, hooly-hoops, and scallywags are true, but often in a really awesome way.

You may be wondering why I am ecstatically standing outside a place called Super Pussy. Google “ping pong shows.” I am a firm believer in trying everything at least 9 times, so yes, I had to. I’m only in Thailand once ok? Let’s just say I saw horns blown, needles strung, birthday candles lit, balloons popped, darts thrown, ping pong balls shot, cigarettes smoked, letters written in ink….neither using hands or mouths, but a part of the woman’s body I never knew could be used for those purposes (hence the name of this fine establishment). In the US, a night with this kind of lowbrow entertainment involving 10-20 gender-bending Thai girls will surely run you hundreds, but here in the cesspool that is Bangkok, it was worth every penny of the $2 I spent. 

Pure debauchery.

 God only knows the places and crevices this ping pong has been squeezed into. Probably enough AIDS on this thing to wipe out a nation. No I did not touch this with my bare hands.  Anyways, my Thai souvenir is better than your Thai souvenir!!!

Morning view right outside of our mega-hotel. I can get used to this!

We never ate at the McDonalds...I just loved seeing Ronald being super ethnic

Penthouse dinner at night

Gorgeous views...some people are literally obsessed with Bangkok.

 Overall though, I give Thailand with all its labias and flabias and flip flaps a meh.

One of my favorite bakeries in Atlanta just won "America's Best Bakery" and I found out the owner recently opened his second location in Bangkok of all places! I emailed him and he told me to visit the store, take a pic in front of it, and I can be his first global member and get freebies! MMMMM Sublime Donuts everyday please?

So weird seeing this in Asia. They probably have no idea what the fuck this means.

P.S. Super behind on blogging. Just wrapped up a week-long trip in Burma, undoubtedly the most beautiful and underrated place in all of SE Asia, and now in the Philippines heading to Palau tonight…what a month!

P.S.S. Laurel, my Vietnam biffle, recently ran into some trouble traveling in Cambodia. Please read and take precaution when traveling somewhere for the first time or going solo!