Thursday, April 19, 2012

Cat city

Kuching is derived from the Malay word which means cat. This city was the last stop on our Borneo adventure (we've been back to Saigon for a while now...just been busy/sick so this is a long overdue post)

Cats everywhere. Cat statues, cat souvenirs, cat trinkets, cat posters, probably even local cat delicacies if you look hard enough...

Hai fives!

We came to Kuching less for the cats and more for the orangutans. Borneo is one of only two places in the world (the other being Sumatra) where you can see the orange beasts. They're super duper endangered so if you see one in the wild, you're probably dropping acid. The best we could do was go to a nature reserve during feeding time. Good thing there's one very close to Kuching!

Everyone waiting patiently for the 'rangies to show up. This nature reserve is different from a zoo where animals are caged. The monkeys here just roam wild and we were told we'd be lucky to even see one if it chose to come out when it was supposed to during feeding time.

AHMAHGADDD THERE IT IS THERE IT IS!!! I gasped in awe just because other people were hooting and hollering and pointed my camera in that general direction and snapped away, not even able to see anything cuz the damn sun was so bright. It was a total madhouse when we finally saw the first orangutan and I had no idea what we were even looking at.

There he is in all his glory. The alpha male.

And not a single fuck was given that day.



Give me my coconut or I will demolish you.

The next day we headed over to Bako National Park to get in one last dose of Mother Nature. This place was hella painful to get to, but when we were finally there...we got Mother Nature alright.

This fine bearded piece of bacon greeted us at the entrance. My god, he looks so tasty. 




On our way to an uphill hike up to a viewing point

Glorious view at the top. I was in an abominably sweaty state when I took this picture. 

Another hike through the coastal forest to get to the beach...

Words cannot express how happy we were to have finally made it here after several hours.

Fuck no we were not about to hike back. I swam desperately to this man when I spotted him and bargained for a ride back. He was probably there in the first place to capitalize on lazy people like us anyway.

Good bye beach!

"The symbol of Sarawak" He told us a moving story about this formation but I completely forgot.

Good LAWDDDD I've been having the worst cravings for crawfish. Can someone come strap me to their jet and drop me down in the New Orleans bayous so I can has om noms right now plizz?

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

In the jungle, the mighty jungle...

Remember that one scene in Planet Earth when they filmed a billion cockroaches feasting on a mountain of bat shit in a cave deep in the jungle?

Each individual speck = a swarm of cockroaches. You can see the very creepy crawly video here

Back in '09, I was obsessively watching this and other Planet Earth episodes back in my dorm room in college. Now, if during that time, somebody would have told me that one day I would have the chance to go to this very cave, I would have given a resounding, FUCK NO

Who the hell would? Roaches + bat shit is best seen through the television screen.

The ending to this story is no surprise, but I actually did get to go there, and it was fucking AWESOME. I did not come into actual contact with any bugs or poop, and realized that the nature documentary only focused on the gross parts, not how awe-inspiring, huge, and amazing the cave is itself.

Deer Cave in Mulu National Park in Malaysian Borneo was the biggest cave in the world a few years back (the title now belongs to a newly discovered cave in Vietnam!). Even if I were to tell you that 7 Boeing airplanes can fit tail to tail inside the largest passage in this big ass cave, big is still not a good word to describe it. Maybe if we combined gigantic, enormous, titanic, immense, colossal into...say, ginortanimmolossal, then maybe, maybe, we could start to describe seeing Deer Cave irl.

The entrance

...almost in...
If you look very closely, you can see the bridge post which are about as tall as people...and this was only at the entrance!

The Garden of Eden near the back

I took about ten million pictures inside this cave, but poor lighting makes for bad cameras. There are no words that can really describe being inside something so much bigger, older, and more massive in every way than you are, hearing the deafening buzzing of 5 million bats, walking along trails mile-deep in ancient poo. In the same way a scholar might be inspired to write poetry amongst cherry blossoms in Japan, a homeless man might be inspired to play the banjo in Deer Cave.

After we explored the cave for about an hour, we came outside during sun down for the famous bat exodus. From 5-7pm every night, millions of bats exit the cave in ribbon-like swirls to feast on tons of insects. The spectacle is quite titillating for the senses.

Everyone waiting patiently for le bats. Shortly after this picture was taken, I felt a drizzle from the sky. All my hopes of seeing the bats were completely destroyed because we heard that they don't come out when it's raining. FML max times ten T_T

"OMG RIGHT THERE RIGHT THERE!!!" Everyone hooted and hollered when we finally saw them. This is definitely NOT as impressive as it would be if it were a normal day, but we'll take what we can get!

I give this a 6/10
Then we saw a double rainbow!! (can barely see second one in this pic) And the rain stopped too!!

More bats came, but now it's too dark for good pics.

Deer Cave was the holy grail of Mulu Park, but there were many other beautiful nature experiences to be had.

Our homestay by the river in Mulu


Had to climb like 400 steps to get to Moonmilk Cave

Definitely worth it! This cave had creamy milky white formations

EWWWW THEY'RE COPULATING!!!




Trees in the rainforest are kinda BEG

Hiked 4km to get to this waterfall...immediately took a VERY refreshing swim

Supposedly the longest canopy walk in the world. I also supposedly went on the longest canopy walk in the Amazon...I know not to trust Asian superlatives anymore.


Our trusty guide

Stalactites and stalagmites in Lang Cave 


Look at all those tiny insignificant humans

Beautiful walk home after a VERY long day (we walked close to 15 miles in one day!)

Borneo is one of the most biodiverse places on earth, but all in all I regret to say I was a little disappointed. I expected to see much more wildlife. In the Amazon rainforest, I saw pink dolphins, poison dart frogs, tarantulas, all kinds of camouflaged insects, many many colorful birds, glow-in-the-dark scorpions, the list goes on (granted we had to go through hell and high water to get there)... I was expecting that since every BBC nature documentary I watched highlighted Borneo (probably more than South America), we'd see at least something. But then again, this was only one park. Other than that, I'm so glad I finally got to go. It's as beautiful and peaceful as nature can get.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Brunei

Where is Brunei? In fact, what is Brunei? Most people (myself included) have no clue that this tiny little country exists.

Whoever says travelling makes you smarter is a fucking dumbass. Travelling makes you infinitely more stupid. All this time I thought I was a pretty intelligent person, and now I’ve just realized that I don’t know shit about the world and my geography is pretty much on par with a donkey’s. For example, here were some of my previous beliefs about Asia:

  1. Malaysia = Mongolia
  2. Borneo was in the Amazon
  3. Indonesia was near India
  4. Philippines is where all of Malaysia and Indonesia actually is
  5. Burma was in Africa
  6. Cambodians are dirty, money-groveling, dishonest, low-life Asians (still confirmed to be true)


If you also thought one or more of these things, you’re probably an American.

Brunei is a miniscule speck on the huge island of Borneo in the south pacific (Borneo is divided between 3 countries: Malaysia, Indonesia, and miniscule Brunei). 

This red square is being quite generous

On the way there in the plane, we saw a clusterfuck of oil rigs in the ocean. You could tell this country was making some serious dough on black gold.

Old money. That's how they roll.

Another mosque

I took like a million pictures

Without the filters


I was surprised to learn Brunei is one of top 5 richest countries in the world (and no, USA is not one of them). These lucky bastards struck oil but had like a 1% chance considering they have such little share of land on the island. Indonesia and Malaysia must be like…fuck our lives max.

Geographical luck out the ass

The sultan is the ruler of Brunei and pretty much everything is dedicated to him. Can he take a new Vietnamese wife, please?


At her age, a face like that just screams "Bitch I know shit"



There are a few parts of Brunei that resemble the rest of Southeast Asia, however. Floating villages, night markets, food courts, etc.

We took a water taxi to see the floating villages

Our handsome and heroic captain




He showed us his house! The man has lived here for 2 decades

School children coming home

Andrew waiting for our bus...the lucky bastard's going to a hundred countries.

Night market in the capital city


AHMAHGAHHH best hotdogs ever!

Read below for posts on Malaysia and Singapore. I’m off to the jungles of Borneo!