Philippines Day 1

I feel stupid for saying this, but I only found out very recently where the Philippines actually is…like as in the other week recently...

I thought all this was the Philippines...and that Indonesia and Malaysia were near Russia. 

Upon this fantastical discovery in geography, I decided it would be a great idea to go! Why not learn more about this country I never knew existed!?

The Philippines has more than 7000 islands. Well that’s 6999 more than I knew of. Seeing as I only had a week, I had to pick just a few. My first stop is Boracay, the granddaddy of all resorty islands. Tickets were SOOPER cheap, like illegally cheap. I think this airline deals rocks on the side ifyouknowwhatimean.

You jellysaurus rex?

It was just like I imagined it…pristine beaches, in-your-face scenery, white sand, clear aqua water, great little coves and lagoons to crawl in and discover, perfect weather…mmmmmMMM. The less touristy area is called Puka Shell Beach, “where the rare puka shells are found”

"rare" puka shells

Don't judge me. I can't swim.

View from restaurant

Look at the troll face on this creepy net. LOL?

The sunset was TO DIE FOR. Pictures don’t do it justice. Video sucks but I was in a rush :/

Filipino people are the honestest, most trustworthy of the Asians IMHO. They’re the only ones in SE Asia that will discount you for any misgivings. Today I had this pretty good fish and the chef came over and said, “Homez, it’s kinda dry. I’ll discount you OK?” I thought it was fine but sure hell yes. Apparently this happens quite a bit, with transport people as well. You will NEVER see that in Vietnam. They will WERQ your wallet all day, every day.

Seafood here looks very alien

At night, I went to this place called the Hobbit House. It’s exactly what it sounds like. A bar…with little people. There are many ethical issues that should be raised here but might I say they make the best mango-banana shakes!?

No comments on my height in relation to theirs please.

As in Indonesia...people kept asking me if I was Pinay. No, I'm American. I don't speak Tagalog. No, you're Asian...probably filinino yes? Yes. Yes you're right, I am.

Unreal!