Exotic meats a la carte

Konichiwa bitches. I woke up today hungry and determined to find some snake. I’ve had snake before, but this was when I was little. My dad caught one in the ghetto and my mom sautéed it with some lemon grass. It was the defining memory of my childhood that turned me into a meatetarian so I salute you carnivorous serpents.

For din din, we went to this place that had all kindsa weird shit. First few pages of the menu introduced kangaroo, shark, ostrich, and the like, so you know this place was FO SERIAL. I couldn’t order everything, and some of the stuff were out of season (like the snake, unfortunately), so here’s everything I finally decided on.

Grill hot and ready for some MEAAAT

Crocodilly. This was the best. Very spicy, very flavorful!

Ostrich steak. Tasted just like filet mignon.

Awwwww yeahhhhh

It's shit like this, Asia...

Hot boiling pot of bull's penis. This was DISGUSTING. It was meant to be medicinal and increase your stamina or whatever the fuck. It was everything you would imagine cooked peen to taste like: gelatinous, chewy, and flavorless.

That's what she said

Chopped penis and duck embryo in the back. How many times have you said that all together in one sentence?

What would a nice meal of ostrich, croc, penis, scorpion, and embryo be without mocha, white chocolate, and tiramisu for dessert?

My nomadic ass really want to travel somewhere exotic again soon. Should I do Borneo or the Philippines? In Borneo, I get to see orangutans (can’t really say that for anywhere else in the world), but in the Philippines I get to mingle with lady-boys…decisions  decisions!