San Francisco

San Francisco has about as much visibility as Stevie Wonder. I couldn't see a flying fuck until about past noon when the sun finally came out past the horizon. As you can see from the pic, bay area is pretty foggy! Locals told me today was probably one of the clearer days....sweet zombie Jesus how do these people see!?


(on the sides of the Golden Gate Bridge are little blue crisis hotlines for people to call (last minute?) in case they come to the bridge and commit suicide...which happens pretty frequently. Heard a story about a dude who jumped at the wrong angle and didn't die and is now just paralyzed for the rest of his life. Sad.)

SF is really pretty. A bit too pretty. It's kind of like how you never wanna be around your hot cousin even though she's a really sweet girl. I felt out of place most of the time. Even the sketchy places were nicer than ClayCo.

Another thing that is no bueno about SF is how HILLY it is. I am about as out of shape as a paraplegic, so walking up 90-degree concrete hills is about as much fun as hang-gliding into a volcano. You can't tell from the pic, but some streets literally drop off into the abyss when you look over the edge.

Cable cars and trolleys make traversing the hills of SF fun :D :D :( :(

SF is rich in arts, poetry, and music...if you're into that sorta thing. There's a bunch of artsy hipster types that live in these parts

Mmmmk

The SF Chinatown is bigger than most of the other ones in the US...lotsa people who don't speak English makes for lotsa good dim sum

My favorite thing about SF are the houses. The city is very rich in culture and obsessed with all things Victorian, so the houses embody this grandiose feeling. You gotta be pretty baller to live here though....I think something similar to this one is on sale for 5 million-ish...

More pretty houses! They have color consultants for homeowners in SF who take their job very serially. "Painted Ladies" are houses with 3 or more colors.

Recognize this...?

It's the Mrs. Doubtfire house! My mom loves that movie. I think people live here too. Wonder if they're trannies.

Painted Ladies homes from that show Full House. Seriously brought back a flood of memories from childhood in a part of my brain I didn't even know existed.

Saw this on one of the buildings. Can anyone tell me wtf these statues are doing? This homeless guy told me "it's bitches cryin' cuz there ain't no straight men in San Frisco"

Tons of rich folk live in the hills of SF...millionaires, celebrities, even billionaires...

Rich people out on the bay

Luckily, I made some friends with the locals and got to go out to Muir Woods and see the famous redwoods. Wow, they were gorgeous and so, so tall. Pictures don't do it justice...the richness of the bark, dampness of the forest floor, and lushness of the vegetation is just something to be experienced.

Camwhoring in the park XD

What would a trip to the Bay Area be without some good seafood? Sausalito is a cute little sleepy town (full of rich people nevertheless) that's right on the coast. I met someone who lived on a fishing boat and he helps run a restaurant that serves fresh delicious fish 'n chips :)

Not as good as ATL wings, but they try

In Chinatown, there's a fortune cookie "factory" where this family has been hand-making fortune cookies for God knows how long. He puts in the batter in the machine which flattens it, then he has to take the chip out before it cools and molds it into the vagina shape, all the while getting the little fortune in there.

Pre-cookie cookie

Who would even buy this much fortune cookies...

Alcatraz is the infamous prison about a mile from the SF peninsula where the real fuck-ups from mainland prison get locked up. I watched Unsolved Mysteries and some people supposedly tried to escape by swimming to shore...but they never found the body so who knows what the hell happen....wonder if it's haunted O_o

End :)