Paradise

Just some pics ^.^

Far, far away

Motorbiking to the falls

Night market in Cagayan de Oro, Mindanao Island

Entering the "comfort room" in Manila

Hm, I never found it...

Katibawasan Falls, Camiguin Island

Riding up to the volcano at sunset. The last time it erupted was just 2001, killing 300 people.

Sunken Cemetery

Swimming in the hot springs

View from the ferry to another island

White Island is a beautiful sand bar beach right in the middle of the ocean just off the coast of Camiguin. Gorgeous!

Sunset on White Island

Biggest mall in Asia! It had an amusement park and ice skating rink!

....and guess what else it has!? Look Fat Ass Crew, it's milk tea from Quickly!

Snorkeling at Mantigue Island

White sand beaches on Mantigue

Endlessly stunning beaches complete with active volcano in the background. Camiguin has more volcanoes per sq km than any other place on earth!

(>^_^)>    <(^_^<)

Boracay

Today was an awesome day. I did all the things scumbag tourists do: ride ATVs, sail boats, solicit lady-boys…

Swam today at a place called Willy’s Rock. It wasn’t as phallic shaped as I thought it’d be, but it was thoroughly enjoyable nonetheless.

People used this as a catholic worship site

Putting on the floaties...getting ready for some serial flapping action

Sailing out to the sunset was spectacular. The sunsets here are fucking redonkulous. So many hues of red…like God’s leaking period. I think I even saw a unicorn looking out from behind the clouds, winking.

Why you no has in America!? #thirdworldproblem

Off to another island!

Philippines Day 1

I feel stupid for saying this, but I only found out very recently where the Philippines actually is…like as in the other week recently...

I thought all this was the Philippines...and that Indonesia and Malaysia were near Russia. 

Upon this fantastical discovery in geography, I decided it would be a great idea to go! Why not learn more about this country I never knew existed!?

The Philippines has more than 7000 islands. Well that’s 6999 more than I knew of. Seeing as I only had a week, I had to pick just a few. My first stop is Boracay, the granddaddy of all resorty islands. Tickets were SOOPER cheap, like illegally cheap. I think this airline deals rocks on the side ifyouknowwhatimean.

You jellysaurus rex?

It was just like I imagined it…pristine beaches, in-your-face scenery, white sand, clear aqua water, great little coves and lagoons to crawl in and discover, perfect weather…mmmmmMMM. The less touristy area is called Puka Shell Beach, “where the rare puka shells are found”

"rare" puka shells

Don't judge me. I can't swim.

View from restaurant

Look at the troll face on this creepy net. LOL?

The sunset was TO DIE FOR. Pictures don’t do it justice. Video sucks but I was in a rush :/

Filipino people are the honestest, most trustworthy of the Asians IMHO. They’re the only ones in SE Asia that will discount you for any misgivings. Today I had this pretty good fish and the chef came over and said, “Homez, it’s kinda dry. I’ll discount you OK?” I thought it was fine but sure hell yes. Apparently this happens quite a bit, with transport people as well. You will NEVER see that in Vietnam. They will WERQ your wallet all day, every day.

Seafood here looks very alien

At night, I went to this place called the Hobbit House. It’s exactly what it sounds like. A bar…with little people. There are many ethical issues that should be raised here but might I say they make the best mango-banana shakes!?

No comments on my height in relation to theirs please.

As in Indonesia...people kept asking me if I was Pinay. No, I'm American. I don't speak Tagalog. No, you're Asian...probably filinino yes? Yes. Yes you're right, I am.

Unreal!

Exotic meats a la carte

Konichiwa bitches. I woke up today hungry and determined to find some snake. I’ve had snake before, but this was when I was little. My dad caught one in the ghetto and my mom sautéed it with some lemon grass. It was the defining memory of my childhood that turned me into a meatetarian so I salute you carnivorous serpents.

For din din, we went to this place that had all kindsa weird shit. First few pages of the menu introduced kangaroo, shark, ostrich, and the like, so you know this place was FO SERIAL. I couldn’t order everything, and some of the stuff were out of season (like the snake, unfortunately), so here’s everything I finally decided on.

Grill hot and ready for some MEAAAT

Crocodilly. This was the best. Very spicy, very flavorful!

Ostrich steak. Tasted just like filet mignon.

Awwwww yeahhhhh

It's shit like this, Asia...

Hot boiling pot of bull's penis. This was DISGUSTING. It was meant to be medicinal and increase your stamina or whatever the fuck. It was everything you would imagine cooked peen to taste like: gelatinous, chewy, and flavorless.

That's what she said

Chopped penis and duck embryo in the back. How many times have you said that all together in one sentence?

What would a nice meal of ostrich, croc, penis, scorpion, and embryo be without mocha, white chocolate, and tiramisu for dessert?

My nomadic ass really want to travel somewhere exotic again soon. Should I do Borneo or the Philippines? In Borneo, I get to see orangutans (can’t really say that for anywhere else in the world), but in the Philippines I get to mingle with lady-boys…decisions  decisions!

Two down, 9999999 to go

Last post I talked about starting a Noah’s Ark in my belly and I think I’m doing pretty well.

Warning: This post is not for aminal lovers. To me, all aminals were created equally. In my eyes, a dog is on the same level as a cow and a chicken. If you can eat one, you can eat all the others. The Western conception that a dog is somehow holier and more anthropomorphic doesn't totally register with me. You might also make the argument that a human being is an aminal. Why, yes they are. And I really wouldn’t hesitate to sample that at Costco if it were legal. I give you, my friends, permission to salvage my carcass if we were ever in a survival situation. Protein is protein!

Wild boar. It was gamier and chewier than pork, but more juicy. Roll it up with some basil and mint and it's good to go.

Dog. Looks kinda like the boar huh? The smell made me really uncomfortable at first. It was a mix between sweaty armpits and drunk hobos. But the taste was quite nice! It was very tender...not what I expected. Dogs raised for meat must not run around much. The fat and skin was not good, but I would definitely say the meat is one of the best aminal meats. You eat it with Vietnamese crackers rolled in veggies dipped in shrimp paste. Doesn't sound yummy, but I wouldn't decline to eat it again. You can get it either grilled or simply cooked. I wanted to really get a feel for the taste so there it is!

Boar or dog? I'll let you decide.

I know, I'm going to hell.

It's been a goddamn month already

Even after a month, I still know as little as I did when I first came here. I mean...I know shit...just not like KNOW KNOW. UknowwhatImean???

Anywhore, my food goals for the next month or so (actually, life goal in general) is to eat every animal at least 9 times. I wanna eat dog to kick off this whole food challenge. I don’t really give a fug about animals and pets and your little fluffy poodle Tinkerbell so go ahead and judge me.

Bomb ass buffet at a fancy shmancy hotel in downtown. The tuna was redonk.

Waldorf salad

Noddle thing.

Desert was OK. They had dragon fruit though so I was all over that shiet!

My cousin also knows some good places to get snake (I’ve eaten this before and it was SOOOGOOD), rat, pigeon, hamster/guinea pig, cat, turtle, boar, and rabbit. Somehow I am most excited about the rat. Apparently, they have a lot of meat and it’s pretty juicy. Who would have thought? I really don’t care about diseases, because I honestly believe I have the stomach of freight train. Better to get sick now than later anyway (and it hasn’t happened yet soo!)

Rhett Butler!!!

Looks pretty much like Atlanta...including phallic shaped building in the bg

I would like to also eat some of it raw…maybe sip on the blood. Snake blood is pretty good for you. Apparently it cures cancer. It could also potentially give you cancer. I wanna be like Andrew Zimmern and eat the heart while it’s still beating.

Vietnamese people feel the need to embellish everything. What the fuck am I gonna do with that straw hat? Am I gonna wear it? I'm sure that costed me an extra 5,000 dong too (╥﹏╥)